So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
