i permit you to call me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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