Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As shirtless as possible
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
