escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
