also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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