We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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