My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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