either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
