He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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