Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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