No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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