...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
