try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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