Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
