I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
