Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
