I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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