Banned from zoo.
Again?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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