I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
