If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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