# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
