I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
