How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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