Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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