just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
