ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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