so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
