shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
