Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
