i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
