Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
