you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
