I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
