You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
