Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
