Your mouth is God's brothel.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
