hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
