so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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