Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
