I want to have your abortion
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
