i'm lost and i look like a hooker
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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