I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
