I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
