I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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