yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
