Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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