DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
