I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He felt like a one man threesome
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
