Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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