I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
