you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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