Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
