and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
