do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Randomize
